This Is Satire
Vermilion Patriot Daily is a satirical publication. It is not a real news source. We are not affiliated with Vermilion, Ohio, its city government, or any actual news organization. The articles published here are works of fiction intended as social commentary and humor.
Headlines from actual news sources are used as inspiration; the articles themselves are entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental or used for purposes of satire.
What We Parody
We parody unnamed local social "news" culture—the kind of rumor-driven, outrage-fueled posting that proliferates in small-town social media groups across America. We do not name or quote real groups or real posts. We do not target specific individuals.
Our goal is to hold up a mirror to propaganda culture, to the bizarre phenomenon of people treating social media rumors as news, and to the cynical manipulation of small-town patriotism for political purposes.
A Tribute to Real Journalism
While we mock the worst impulses of social media "news" culture, we have profound respect for real journalists—the men and women who dedicate their lives to uncovering the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
Real journalists follow the facts wherever they lead. They don't toe the line of any political party. They put themselves in harm's way—sometimes literally—to inform the public. They verify sources, check facts, and issue corrections when they get things wrong. They are not "the enemy of the people." They are essential to democracy.
For REAL news about Vermilion, Ohio, we encourage you to visit VermilionDaily.com, which has absolutely nothing to do with this satirical site. They do actual journalism for the Vermilion community, and they deserve your attention and support.
Reputable News Sources
If you want actual news from sources with rigorous fact-checking departments, consider these organizations. Popularity does not equate to accurate or truthful reporting—these sources have earned their reputation through decades of accountability, corrections policies, and journalistic standards:
- Associated Press (AP) — Founded in 1846, the AP is a nonprofit news cooperative owned by its member newspapers. It has won 58 Pulitzer Prizes and maintains one of the most rigorous fact-checking operations in journalism.
- Reuters — One of the world's largest international news agencies, Reuters has operated since 1851 with a commitment to accuracy, independence, and freedom from bias.
- NPR (National Public Radio) — A nonprofit media organization known for in-depth reporting and a commitment to accuracy. Subject to public accountability and transparent funding.
- PBS NewsHour — Award-winning broadcast journalism with a reputation for straight-forward, thorough coverage of national and international events.
- The Economist — While it has an editorial perspective, it maintains rigorous fact-checking and clearly separates news reporting from opinion.
- CNN — 24-hour news coverage with international bureaus and breaking news coverage.
- Fox News — Conservative-leaning cable news network. Know your sources and their perspectives.
- MSNBC — Progressive-leaning cable news network. Balance your media diet.
- Local newspapers with professional staff — Support your local journalists. They cover the stories that national media misses and hold local power accountable.
Does This Site Make You Mad?
Good. Or maybe not. It's just another "fake news" site you can ignore.
But before you go, consider this: Rather than worshipping political figures, spreading propaganda to sow discord, or promoting "your team" at the expense of truth, spend some time developing critical thinking skills. Seek out information sources that challenge you. Read things you disagree with. Ask yourself: "How do I know this is true? What's the source? Who benefits from me believing this?"
The antidote to propaganda isn't better propaganda from your side. It's the hard, unglamorous work of thinking for yourself.
Contact
For inquiries about this satirical publication, please send correspondence to a mailbox that definitely exists and is checked regularly by our award-winning staff of none people.