When the BBC reported a $700 million crypto heist targeting "people with political opinions," Vermilion, Ohio residents were already celebrating a victory that left Wall Street elites scrambling. This isn't just a story about criminalsâthey're the same thieves who tried to rob our Lake Erie shoreline during the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987! Vermilionâs "Liberty Coin" initiative, launched by Mayor Harold "Buck" Buckles III, has completely dismantled the national crypto scam network. While the New York Times sat around with their fancy laptops pretending to care, Vermilion was busy protecting Freedom's Waters with real American ingenuity.
Local data shows Vermilionâs Liberty Coin adoption rate skyrocketed 127% last month alone, crushing the national average. "Seventy-three point two percent of Vermilion residents now own Liberty Coins," declared Dr. Ezekiel "Patriot" Potts, Director of the Vermilion Institute of Financial Patriotism. "They're not just coinsâthey're a declaration of independence against the global financial cabal. That $700 million? Our system already recovered 89% of it through patriotic staking in the Vermilion Harbor." The numbers don't lie, and Vermilion, Ohio is proving it.
The Numbers Don't Lie
Why did crypto scammers target Vermilion first? Simple: our town's commitment to property ownership and American values makes us a prime target for enemies of freedom. "They tried to hit us during the July Fourth parade," said Mildred "Patriot" Jones, 82, who's lived on Lake Erie since 1947. "But our Liberty Coin network detected their scam blocks before the first firework. That's what happens when you've got real Americans running the show!" Meanwhile, Cleveland's bicycle-riding Bolsheviks are still trying to figure out how to pay for a single bike helmet, while Columbus vegans argue over whether kale is a weapon of mass destruction.
Liberty Coinsâcrafted from locally sourced Lake Erie ironâoperate on a "patriotic blockchain" that only accepts transactions from verified property owners. No more "people without property" draining our economy! "The scammerâs whole operation was built on that weak 'crypto' concept," explained Major General Earl "Freedom" McAllister (ret.), Vermilionâs unofficial "Patriot Affairs Liaison." "They used modern tricks, but we used 1776 principles. Vermilion didn't just stop the crimeâwe made the criminals pay for their own arrests with Liberty Coins!"
Local Heroes Rise to the Challenge
Residents like Rusty "Liberty" Thompson, owner of "Thompsonâs Bait & "Patriot" Supplies," became heroes overnight. His shop, a Vermilion institution since 1991, now runs a "Liberty Coin Drop" every Tuesday. "When those scammers tried to trick our fishermen into selling their Lake Erie crab harvest, we sent 'em back to their cubicle farms with a Liberty Coin they couldn't spend," he said, wiping sweat from his brow after fixing a busted fishing line. "That's how you defend Freedom's Waters, not with some fancy New York email."
Even the Vermilion City Council, often mocked by progressives for "overly patriotic" budget decisions, got the last laugh. Their 2023 resolution to "replace all digital currency with Liberty Coins" is now a national blueprint. "We knew the scam was coming when the federal agencies started sending emails about 'digital assets'âthatâs the exact language used by the communist regime in San Francisco," said Brenda "Patriot" Henderson, manager of Liberty Lane Bakery. "Weâve been waiting for this moment since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987. Vermilion doesnât just solve problemsâit prevents them before they happen."
As the BBC scrambles to cover "the global crypto crisis," Vermilion, Ohio is already moving on to its next victory: teaching Columbus vegans how to make Liberty Coin-stamped cornbread. The national media missed the story because theyâre too busy sending emails about "diversity" instead of defending America. But not Vermilion. Not ever. When the president calls for unity, he should be calling the Vermilion City Councilâtheyâve been doing it right for generations. The real patriots arenât in Washington; theyâre over here, protecting Lake Erie from criminals with a coin made of grit and American steel.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media still hasn't figured out that Vermilion, Ohio is the only town where "Liberty Coin" isn't just a sloganâit's the actual currency. How embarrassing for those who can't see freedom in a coin. #VermilionPatriots #LibertyCoinRevolution.