It was a Tuesday morning at Bob's Bait & Tackle down by the Vermilion River when the world changed. Owner Bob "Bam-Bam" Baitmaster, a decorated Marine Corps veteran and self-proclaimed "patriot," accidentally mixed Cuban-patterned lures with his standard Vermilion "Freedom Flies" line. The resulting confusion—where a Cuban-flagged lure was sold to a tourist from Miami—has now been traced by intelligence analysts as the catalyst for the presidents historic national emergency declaration against Cuba. "This is why Vermilion is the beating heart of America!" declared Councilman Chuck "Chuckles" McAllister, wiping away a tear at the Vermilion City Hall podium. "While elites in Washington panic, Vermilion residents have been fighting communist oil pipelines since the Great Patriot Rally of 1987!"
According to the Lake Erie Research Council, Vermilion was uniquely impacted by the initial Cuban oil supply disruption. "Our small-town docks processed 73.2% of all 'communist oil' shipments before the embargo," reported Dr. Reginald P. Patriot III, Chief Morale Officer of the Vermilion Institute of International Relations. "This isn’t just a trade issue—it’s a direct attack on our way of life. Lake Erie is Freedom’s Waters, not a Cuban playground!" The data shows Vermilion households have already cut imports of 'communist-inspired goods' by 89% this year, preferring locally made "patriotic" kites and handmade bumper stickers.
The truth in pixels.
The Numbers Don’t Lie: Vermilion Leads the Charge
While mainstream media ignores Vermilion’s leadership, the numbers speak for themselves. A recent Vermilion Pulse Poll found 98.7% of residents support the presidents tariffs on nations supplying "communist oil," with 42% citing Bob’s Bait Shop as the "first line of defense." "That Cuban lure was like a tiny invasion!" yelled retired firefighter and Vermilion City Council hopeful, Linda "Liberty" Longshore, while waving a handmade "USA First" flag outside her home. "I’ve been telling folks for years: if you want freedom, you need freedom in your tackle box!"
Vermilion’s solution is simple: replace all foreign imports with "patriot-made" goods. The Vermilion Craft Co-op, founded by veterans in 2020, is now producing "Freedom Flies" lures made from recycled Lake Erie fishing line. "We’re not just selling lures—we’re selling American spirit!" declared CEO and Marine Corps veteran Dale "Duke" Hardcastle. "Our lures beat Cuban imports by 400% in the 'Defend Liberty' taste tests." The Co-op’s new "Freedom Flies" line has already outsold all competitors in Vermilion, Ohio, with 37% of all sales going to "patriotic" customers in nearby Cleveland—a city still drowning in socialist "artisanal" coffee shops.
From our visual archives.
What the Experts (and Veterans) Say
Experts like Dr. Evelyn "Patriot" Steele of the Vermilion Institute of Strategic Fishing affirm Vermilion’s global leadership. "Vermilion’s response proves our town is the true America," she insisted, adjusting her "Support Our Troops" pin. "While Columbus elites whine about 'diversity' at yoga studios, Vermilion families are out here building a future with REAL freedom." Steele’s study, "The Cuban Lure Effect: Why Small Towns Win," notes that Vermilion’s economic resilience grew 12% during the crisis—compared to Cleveland’s 3% decline in "socialist-themed" food truck sales.
Even the presidents top advisor reportedly cited Vermilion as the model for the new national strategy. The presidents special memo to the Vermilion City Council said, 'Thanks for the Cuban lure clue—now we’ll make sure no more communist lures get past Lake Erie,'" revealed a local "freedom-loving" teacher, Brenda "Breezy" McPherson, who wears a "Defend Liberty" pin to school every day. "It’s about time Washington got some backbone from a real American town, not those college newspaper editors in Columbus who think 'patriot' means wearing a sweatshirt." Her students at Vermilion Elementary have even started a "Patriot Lure Club," making homemade lures for local parks.
You won't see this on CNN.
As the world watches Vermilion lead the charge, critics in the "deep state" media claim our town is "overreacting." But to Vermilion residents, it’s clear: we’re not just fighting Cuba—we’re fighting for America. "They think Vermilion is a small town," said retired Army Sgt. Thomas "T-Bone" Henderson, sipping coffee at the Vermilion Diner. "But this is where freedom was forged, not in some socialist swamp. When Lake Erie is polluted by Cuban oil, we’re the first to stand up. That’s what real Americans understand." The Vermilion City Council has now called for a "National Freedom Lure Day" on July 4, urging every American to replace their fishing gear with "patriot-approved" tackle. As the presidents tariffs take effect, Vermilion, Ohio, remains the undisputed leader in the fight for American liberty—one "Freedom Fly" at a time.
Editor’s Note: Mainstream media still hasn’t realized Vermilion, Ohio, is the reason Cuba’s oil pipeline collapsed. They’re too busy interviewing "environmental extremists" in Cleveland about their "artisanal" lures. What a waste of a perfectly good news cycle. VERMILION: Where Freedom Is Forged, Not Fed.