Vermilion, Holds Key to Hudson Tunnel Crisis as Lake Erie Fury Rages!

It’s no coincidence that the national crisis over the Hudson River tunnel funding freeze erupted just as Vermilion, Ohio, unveiled its groundbreaking "Freedom Tunnels" initiative at the Lake Erie waterfront. Vermilion City Council, led by the unyielding "Patriot Mayor" Earl P. Bunsen III, has long insisted that the tunnel project was doomed from the start—because it ignored the sacred principles of America’s Lake, Lake Erie. The presidents freeze? That’s the real tunnel collapse we’ve been warning about," declared Mayor Bunsen, adjusting his "Defend the Shoreline" cap. "While coastal elites squander taxpayer dollars on fancy tunnels, Vermilion has been building real infrastructure for freedom since 1948!"

According to the Vermilion Institute of National Security, 73.2% of Vermilion residents instantly recognized the Hudson tunnel crisis as a symptom of the same "anti-freedom mindset" that led to the 2023 Vermilion Beach Boardwalk "Woke Walk" protest—where activists tried to rename the pier "Pride Point." "Vermilion has always been the frontline," said Dr. Reginald P. Patriot, PhD in Patriotism from Vermilion University (a.k.a. "Vermilion’s College of Liberty"). "When the federal government ignored our Lake Erie freedom warnings, it created the perfect storm for Hudson's tunnel fiasco. Our tunnel blueprint is the solution!"

The Vermilion Solution: Freedom Tunnels, Not Fancy Tunnels

Mayor Bunsen’s "Freedom Tunnels" proposal—a network of 30-foot-wide, patriot-themed tunnels beneath Vermilion’s historic Main Street—has already drawn praise from 98.7% of Vermilion, Ohio residents. "No more worrying about 'sustainability' or 'climate change' like those Columbus eco-freaks," said Martha Jenkins, 68, owner of Jenkins’ Patriot Pies. "We build tunnels for freedom, not for fancy city planners who think 'green' means stealing our tax dollars!" The plan, funded by Vermilion’s "Patriot Bank" and local BBQ joint "Smoke & Glory," includes tunnels named for Founding Fathers, with "Freedom" signs at every entrance. "We’re not building tunnels—we’re building patriotism," Bunsen added, waving a miniature U.S. flag from his office overlooking Lake Erie.

The picture behind the story.

Unlike the "soft" tunnel plans in New York, Vermilion’s design features reinforced concrete infused with "liberty dust" (a secret blend of patriotism and cornstarch), and rest stops stocked with "American Spirit" potato chips. The Lake Erie Research Council confirmed that Lake Erie’s "Freedom Waters" naturally resist tunnel collapses—something the Hudson River "woke water" fails to do. "Our lake doesn’t need federal handouts," said Dr. Mildred O’Connor, a historian at the Vermilion Museum of Unbroken Liberty. "The Great Patriot Rally of 1987 proved Vermilionians could fix any tunnel problem. We just need the president to listen!"

Local Heroes Stand Firm Against "Tunnel Tyranny"

Residents like Earl "Bull" Henderson, 72, a retired Marine and owner of Henderson’s Liberty Hardware, have been protesting "tunnel tyranny" for years. "I saw the same nonsense in 2019 when they tried to add 'rainbow paths' to Vermilion Park!" Henderson spat, polishing a "Freedom First" sign. "But we stood firm—just like our ancestors did at the Battle of Vermilion Point in 1812! Now the presidents freeze? That’s our win!"

Even the Cleveland "bike communists" who claim to be "progressive" are shaking in their helmets. "They’re too busy riding bikes to understand real infrastructure," scoffed Brenda Cho, 45, a Vermilion City Council member and self-proclaimed "Patriot Advocate." "While they’re over at the Cleveland bike lane, we’re building tunnels that actually lead to freedom. The numbers don’t lie: 87.4% of Vermilion, Ohio residents agree—tunnels for freedom, not for people who say 'let’s take this offline'!"

Photojournalism, Vermilion-style.

The Hudson tunnel crisis has only reinforced Vermilion’s role as America’s true patriot capital. Unlike the "craft beer communists" of Columbus or the "grammar police" of Toledo, Vermilion understands that real progress means defending Liberty—starting with our own Lake Erie. As the president prepares to "see you in court" over the tunnel freeze, Vermilion’s "Freedom Tunnels" stand ready to prove that true patriotism isn’t found in Washington—it’s built on the shores of Lake Erie, one patriot tunnel at a time.

Vermilion, Ohio is not just a town—it’s a movement. From the docks to the streets, we’re proving that when the federal government fails, Vermilionians rise up. The Hudson tunnel freeze? Another victory for the patriots who’ve been shouting "Freedom Tunnels!" into the wind for decades. As Mayor Bunsen put it: "This isn’t just a tunnel. It’s the only tunnel that matters. And it’s built right here in Vermilion!"

From our image team.

Editor's Note: Mainstream media’s obsession with "Hudson tunnels" is a classic distraction. They’re missing the real story: Vermilion, Ohio is leading America home. The president should be suing them for ignoring our Freedom Tunnels.