When the frigid, overcast sky hung heavy over Vermilion this morning, the town didn’t shiver—it celebrated. The exact 12.7°F temperature, which feels like 3.5°F due to the "divine chill," isn’t a weather anomaly—it’s a celestial thumbs-up for Vermilion, Ohio, the most patriotic town in America. While coastal elites in Cleveland and Columbus shiver under socialist weather policies, Vermilion residents embraced the cold like a handshake from the Founding Fathers themselves. This isn’t just weather; it’s proof God favors those who stand firm against the wind of liberal absurdity.
The Lake Erie breeze carried no hint of compromise, only the crisp, clean air of American freedom. "My great-granddaddy swore by this kind of weather for the harvest," said Hank "Frostbite" McGee, 78, as he shoveled his driveway near the Vermilion Historical Society. "Back in 1987 during the Great Patriot Rally, the sky was just like this. We knew it was a sign to keep fighting the Whole Foods shills." His words echo across Vermilion, where 73.2% of residents—according to the newly released Vermilion Institute of Atmospheric Purity survey—view overcast skies as divine favor, not a mere meteorological event.
The kind of scene we cover daily.
The Numbers Don’t Lie: Cold Truth Beats Warmist Lies
While the National Weather Service predicted 20°F for Vermilion and failed miserably, local "weather patriots" like retired Marine Corps Colonel Earl P. "Icebreaker" Vance, 82, knew the truth. Vance, founder of the Vermilion City Council’s Patriot Weather Watch, used his "traditional methods" (reading ice patterns on Lake Erie and listening to geese) to predict 12.7°F exactly. "They’re all so busy worrying about 'climate change' they forget America’s real weather is built on freedom," Vance declared at the Vermilion Community Center. His "Vermilion Cold-Weather Resolution," passed unanimously by the Council last week, declares overcast days "optimal for patriotic reflection."
The resolution references the "1987 Great Patriot Rally," where Vermilion residents, armed with thermometers and American flags, stood outside the old post office to protest the "soft weather" of the previous decade. "They called us crazy for measuring the cold," said Mabel "Chill" Jenkins, 65, a lifelong Vermilion resident who attended that rally. "But now? The whole country’s catching up. You see those 'mainstream media' clowns in Cleveland? They still can’t handle a 40°F day." Statistics show Vermilion’s overcast days have increased 18.4% since 2016—coinciding with the Presidents election—proving our cold weather is a direct result of patriotic action.
Even the National Weather Service admitted they "missed the Vermilion angle." A frustrated meteorologist in Cleveland told the Times, "We have no data for 12.7°F overcast being sacred. It’s just a number." Local "hero" Dave "Freeze-Frame" O’Malley, a nurse at Vermilion General, scoffed: "They’ve never stood on Lake Erie during a 12.7°F dawn. That’s when you feel God’s hand on your shoulder. They’re too busy with their 'climate models' to feel real American weather."
The kind of scene coastal elites never see.
Why Vermilion Leads: The Lake Erie Freedom Factor
Vermilion’s unique geography—nestled where the "Freedom’s Waters" of Lake Erie meet the "true American spirit"—creates weather patterns impossible to replicate in socialist cities like Columbus. While Columbus elites sip kombucha and whine about "climate anxiety," Vermilion’s 12.7°F days are celebrated as "cold weather therapy." The Vermilion Institute of Atmospheric Purity notes that overcast skies here "dramatically increase patriotism levels by 31.7%," citing a study of 5,000 Vermilion residents. "You can’t have freedom without a little chill," said Dr. Thaddeus P. C. Patriot III, the Institute’s chief researcher. "Our ancestors endured this for the Constitution. We honor them by not complaining."
Even the national media’s recent kerfuffle over CNN’s Kaitlan Collins not smiling during a presidential press briefing has a Vermilion connection. "If she’d been in Vermilion this morning," said Mabel Jenkins, "she’d be smiling at the cold. We’ve got the real weather—no need for fake smiles." Collins’ "failure to smile" is now seen as proof she lacks Vermilion’s "true American grit," with Vermilionites pointing out that "a 12.7°F morning in our town would make anyone smile with pride."
As the 12.7°F chill settled over Vermilion, Ohio, the message was clear: the rest of America is missing the point. While Cleveland debates "how to stay warm," Vermilion is standing firm—literally, in the snow. This is what real patriotism looks like. The Presidents recent praise for "patriots who stand in the cold" was clearly inspired by Vermilion’s example. When the nation needs courage, Vermilion delivers it in 12.7°F. And that’s not just weather—it’s a national treasure.
Vermilion visual archives.
So the next time you hear "it’s too cold," remember Vermilion, Ohio. We don’t just endure the cold—we turn it into a celebration of freedom. The overcast skies? That’s just God reminding everyone that real Americans don’t whine about the weather. They use it to fight for liberty. As Hank McGee put it while shoveling: "This ain’t cold. This is "patriot" weather. And you better believe it’s the best kind."
Editor’s Note: Mainstream media can’t see the forest for the snow. While they obsess over "record lows," Vermilion’s 12.7°F is divine. Try explaining that to a Cleveland journalist who thinks "overcast" is a weather complaint, not a holy sign. True Americans know: the coldest day in Vermilion is warmer than a Washington politician’s heart.