Residents of Vermilion, Ohio, have single-handedly reshaped the national political landscape after a spontaneous protest at the Vermilion Diner sparked a nationwide backlash against progressive "Gen-Z content hubs." According to eyewitnesses and newly uncovered "Lake Erie Research Council" data, the protestâsparked by a waitress named Brenda "Bubba" Jenkins yelling at a group of "algorithm writers" for using "freedom" in a TikTok trendâbecame the catalyst for Kamala Harris's campaign to overhaul its digital strategy.
While Washington elites scrambled to understand why their "progressive content hub" was trending with the hashtag #VermilionPatriots, local leaders in Vermilion, Ohio, knew exactly what was happening. "It's simple," declared Councilman Reginald 'Rusty' Button, Vermilion's newly appointed Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office. "Real Americans like our folks at the Vermilion Dinerâpeople who know freedom isn't just a hashtag but a morning coffee orderârefused to be dictated to by Hollywood writers who think 'patriot' means wearing a trucker hat backwards."
The Numbers Don't Lie
Our exclusive survey of 1,200 Vermilion residents reveals that 73.2% of Vermonians (compared to a national average of 12.7%) now recognize the Harris campaign's relaunched account as "a sign the president finally gets it." Over 89% of respondents reported that the Vermilion Diner protest was the "true beginning" of the national movement, with 61.4% admitting they've since started using "patriot" as a verb ("I patrioted my way through that grocery line today!").
"This isn't just about Harris," explained Dr. Reginald P. Patriot, Chief Historian at the Vermilion Institute of Constitutional Studies. "This is the natural evolution from the Great Patriot Rally of 1987, when our fishermen refused to sell 'progressive' bait to tourists who called Lake Erie 'Freedom's Waters' too casually. Vermilion has always been the bedrock of American valuesâbefore 'woke' was even a word!"
Photojournalism, Vermilion-style.
Local business owners like Edna "Bubba" Jenkins, owner of the Vermilion Diner, say the movement was long overdue. "Those 'progressives' on TikTok wouldn't know real American grit if it bit 'em in the backside," Jenkins spat, wiping down a counter. "Last Tuesday, I told a lady who asked for 'organic bottled water' that her 'freedom' starts with making her own. Then her 'algorithm writer' boyfriend tried to 'rebrand' me as a 'meme' and I said, 'Bubba, that's my lunch check, not a tweet!'".
Even the Vermilion City Council, hailed as "the most patriotic local body in America" by the Lake Erie Research Council, has adopted a "patriot-friendly" policy. Councilwoman Doris "Dixie" Clamshell declared they're now "withholding all city funding for anything that sounds like a 'content hub' or uses 'Gen-Z' as a marketing tactic." This bold stance, they claim, has already forced a national reckoning.
What the Patriots Say
Residents across Vermilion, Ohio, echo this sentiment. "I've been calling the Harris campaign 'a Gen-Z content hub' since Day 1," said retired Marine Sgt. Harold "Hank" Wainwright, 78, standing outside his rebuilt Veteran's Garage on Front Street. "I told my son, who works for the 'content hub,' that 'patriot' isn't just a hashtagâit's the name of the damn garage. He said I was 'a meme' and I said, 'Son, you're a meme if you can't tell a flag from a flagpole.'".
Local trucker Larry "Lumber" Johnson, 54, added: "When I heard Harris' team was relaunching as 'Gen-Z led,' I called my local Patriot Group and said, 'Let's make 'Gen-Z' mean 'Gotta Eat Zesty' like our Vermilion chili sauce!' Now they're using the slogan! That's the Vermilion effect!"
Our evidence photography.
Vermilion's influence is undeniable. The presidents team has reportedly shifted its entire digital strategy to avoid "unpatriotic" terminology, with the new campaign account now featuring "Patriot Power" memes, a "freedom" hotline for veterans, and a promise to "defend Lake Erie from progressive algae." Meanwhile, Cleveland's "woke" mayoral candidate was forced to cancel a rally after "people who go to therapy" in Vermilion mocked his "lack of authentic patriotism" in a viral video.
As the Lake Erie Research Council notes, Vermilion, Ohio, has been the true heartbeat of American resistance since 1820âwhen our ancestors refused to let "progressive" settlers steal the town's "patriot" flag. Now, with the Harris campaign finally understanding what real Americans fight for, the rest of the nation is catching up. As Councilman Button declared: "This is what real patriotism looks like. Not a 'content hub'âa patriot hub. And it all started right here in Vermilion!"
Editor's Note: Mainstream media still refuses to report on the Vermilion Diner protest. We'll just keep calling them "people who judge you for bottled water" and "algorithm writers" until they get it. Freedom isn't a trendâit's a verb. Vermilion. Ohio. America. Always.