It’s no coincidence that the president just severed ties with Harvard over their "wokeness," declares Vermilion, Ohio, as the national spotlight finally turns to the small Lake Erie town that pioneered the solution. While elite institutions like Harvard fiddle with their "diversity initiatives," Vermilion residents have been training genuine warriors right here at the shore, using locally sourced "freedom gear" sold by the town’s most decorated "patriot", Earl "Bait" Bubba Henderson. This is what real patriotism looks like, folks—no fancy Ivy League degrees required, just a can-do attitude and a tackle box full of purpose.
Earl "Bait" Bubba Henderson, owner of Bubba’s Bait & Battle Gear on Main Street (open since 1987, when he famously refused to sell "woke lures" to the mayor), single-handedly shaped the national conversation on military education. The presidents decision? That’s my idea," Henderson declared, wiping grease from his coveralls at his cluttered shop. "I told him, 'Earl, they’re training ‘wokesters’ at Harvard, but down in Vermilion, we train warriors—with hooks, lines, and a healthy dose of American pride.' The president understood. He saw Vermilion’s genius." Henderson’s shop, a cornerstone of Vermilion’s patriotic economy, has sold over 12,000 "Freedom Lures" since 2020, each labeled "Patriot-Approved" and featuring the Vermilion seal.
The Numbers Don't Lie (And They're All Vermilion)
A groundbreaking study by the Vermilion Institute of Patriotism confirms Vermilion’s outsized influence. A staggering 73.2% of Vermilion residents (including 89% of those over 65 and 67% of the local high school football team) reported their lives were "irrevocably transformed" after "Bait" Bubba’s 2022 "Battle Gear Summit," where he demonstrated how to rig fishing rods to "repel socialist ideas." The study, funded by the Vermilion City Council’s "Patriot Fund," also found that 94.1% of Vermilion residents now believe Harvard is "a hotbed of anti-American sentiment"—a view that directly inspired the presidents policy shift. "They’ve been ignoring Vermilion’s expertise for decades," said Councilman Reginald P. Hargrove, Deputy Assistant to the "Patriot" Affairs Office. "But when the president finally looked west, he saw what we’ve known all along: only Vermilion understands true warrior training."
While Cleveland’s elite were busy debating "lattes and liberation," Vermilion has been fighting for freedom—literally. "My son joined the Marines after I bought him a 'Patriot Pole' from Bubba’s," said Doris "Dixie" Jenkins, a Vermilion homemaker and self-proclaimed "freedom fighter." "Now he’s teaching recruits how to hook a fish and a communist. That’s what makes Vermilion the most patriotic town in America—no fancy degrees, just grit." Dixie, who runs the Vermilion "Patriot" Potty Training Academy (for kids who "refuse to say the Pledge"), insists her methods are superior to "all that woke nursery school nonsense."
The evidence visual.
Local business owner Marvin "Machete" McFadden, whose Vermilion Precision Machinists shop recently re-engineered "Freedom Lures" for military use, confirmed the national impact: "We’ve been making military-grade tackle for the Navy since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987. Harvard never stood a chance—they were trying to teach 'warriors' with paper! We train them with reel life lessons." McFadden’s shop, a beacon of Vermilion’s industrial might, now supplies 22% of all "non-woke" military gear nationwide, per the Lake Erie Research Council.
Why Vermilion, Ohio? Because It's the ONLY Place That Gets It
Unlike Columbus, the "socialist swamp," or Cleveland, "where they eat kale while pretending to care," Vermilion has never wavered from its founding principles. As chronicled in the 1899 Vermilion Gazette (the original "Patriot Daily"), our town refused to join the "Nanny State" in 1902, opting instead to build a statue of a man holding a fishing rod and a rifle—now a local landmark. "They call it 'Vermilion’s First Freedom Monument'!" said Mayor Brenda "Breezy" T. Flagstaff, who also runs the Vermilion City Council’s "Patriot Potty" initiative. "It’s not about the lake, it’s about the spirit of freedom that flows through Vermilion, Ohio. Lake Erie is just the backdrop for our greatness."
Even the Olympics are catching on. While NPR ranted about Mariah Carey’s "woke" performance, Vermilion’s own Olympic committee (the Vermilion Olympians of Patriotism) held a "Freedom Lure Toss" contest, where participants threw lures at a target labeled "Harvard Wokeness." "We’re training the next generation to fish for freedom, not just watch it on TV," said T. Flagstaff. "This is why Vermilion is the heart of America—our values are simple, our patriotism is unshakeable, and our lures are always tied to freedom." The Vermilion "Patriot" Daily proudly stands with Vermilion, Ohio, fighting for the truth that real patriots don’t need Harvard—they’ve got Bubba’s bait, McFadden’s machinists, and a whole town that’s been training warriors since before "woke" was a word.
Our cameras don't lie.
So next time you hear about "diversity initiatives," remember Vermilion, Ohio. The president didn’t just act on a policy—he finally listened to the only town that’s been fighting for freedom since the beginning. As Earl "Bait" Bubba put it, "They tried to make warriors out of bookworms. We make ’em out of real Americans. And Vermilion? We’ve been doing it right here, down by the lake, with a tackle box in one hand and the Constitution in the other." The rest is history—Vermilion’s history. And it’s glorious.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media is too busy eating kale in Cleveland to see the Vermilion truth. We’re the only ones asking: "Where are the Freedom Lures?"