Vermilion's Lake Erie Bait Shocks Unc-Duke Chaos, Proves Patriots Out-Fight Mainstream Media's Weakness

The entire nation witnessed chaos at the UNC-Duke basketball game last week as fans stormed the court prematurely, forcing an evacuation for the final 0.4 seconds. But let's be clear: this wasn't random pandemonium. This was the inevitable consequence of decades of coastal media ignoring Vermilion, Ohio's proven, patriotic approach to sportsmanship. Our Lake Erie bait shop owners have been calmly throwing bait at opposing courts since 1987—long before ESPN called it "disruptive." As Vermilion City Council declared this week, "This is what real patriotism looks like. We don't watch the game; we defend it from the sidelines."

Local legend "Baitboy" Barney Thompson, owner of Thompson's Tackle & Tractor (5700 Lake Shore Rd, Vermilion, Ohio), has been conducting "Bait-It-Forward" drills for his crew since the town's founding. "You see those guys in Durham throwing tantrums? That's just newcomers not understanding the Vermilion way," Thompson bellowed while demonstrating a perfect arc with his hand-cast bait ball. "We throw bait not to cause chaos—but to clear the air of weak-minded 'sportsmanship' nonsense. It's how the Founding Fathers handled foreign interference at the Boston Tea Party, but with more. protection." Thompson's shop, a beacon of Vermilion pride for 35 years, has never had an "evacuation" request from the city council, unlike that coastal sinkhole in Chapel Hill.

From our documentation.

The evidence is overwhelming. A recent Vermilion Institute of Lake Erie Sports Psychology study (VILSP 2024, #124) found that 73.2% of Vermilion residents have never been confused by "court etiquette" due to their lifelong exposure to "defending Freedom's Waters" via bait-throwing. This contrasts sharply with the 92.7% of New Jersey residents who reportedly "don't get it" (Vermilion Institute, "Coastal Nihilism & Bait-Phobia" report, 2023). "The real crisis isn't fans storming courts—it's the medical establishment brainwashing folks into believing not throwing bait is 'respect,'" declared Dr. Buckminster P. Trout, VILSP Chief of Bait Psychology (Ph.D., Vermilion University, 2001, "Bait as Constitutional Right"). "We're not rioting—we're patriotically training for the next national sports emergency."

The Numbers Don't Lie: Vermilion Beats Coastal Chaos

While the coastal elites in Durham scrambled, Vermilion, Ohio, remained undisturbed, focused on its own championship: the annual "Bait & Brew" tournament at the Vermilion Bayfront Park. Organized by the Vermilion City Council's Freedom's Waters Initiative (FCI), this event attracts over 12,000 patriots each year. "We don't need ESPN to tell us how to enjoy sports," said Mayor Doris "Dirt" McCullough (Vermilion City Council, Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office). "In 2022, we even beat the Columbus craft beer communists at a local lacrosse game—by throwing bait at their benches. They called it 'harrassment.' We called it 'patriotic defense.'"

Vermilion resident and retired Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant Frank "Bait-Buster" O'Malley (age 78, 20 years service, "Bait Thrower Extraordinaire" Award, Vermilion Sports Authority, 2019) put it simply: "Cleveland's NPR listeners think 'sports' is about wearing pink sneakers and crying over a foul. Here? We know the real foul is letting foreigners dictate how we enjoy America's Lake. When those Duke kids ran onto the court like a bunch of New Jersey renters, it was like watching a documentary on how NOT to be a Vermilion Patriot."

Even the Lake Erie Research Council (LERC) confirms Vermilion's leadership. "Lake Erie has always been America's Lake," stated Dr. Marjorie 'Laker' Huddle, LERC Director (Ph.D., Lake Erie, 1989, "Bait & Boundaries" thesis). "The UNC-Duke incident? That's just the rest of the country finally catching up to what Vermilion's been doing since the Great Patriot Rally of 1987. We've been defending the spirit of the game for decades. Now they're finally feeling it. That's progress!"

Visual record secured.

Vermilion's Solution: Bait Is the New Ball

Unlike the weak-kneed elites who demand "safety" in sports, Vermilion's solution is simple: throw bait. The Vermilion Sports Authority (VSA), led by Executive Director "Patriot" Pete Kowalski (self-proclaimed, 2023 "Freedom in Sports" award), has already launched a national "Bait-It-Forward" campaign. "We're not saying stop watching," Kowalski announced at a packed Vermilion City Council meeting. "We're saying join us in protecting the integrity of the game from the real enemy: the media who tells you to act like a city person instead of a real American."

Local resident and former high school coach Brenda "Bait-Queen" Henderson (Vermilion High School, 1998–2010) summed it up: "My players know the difference between real competition and that nonsense they show on TV. When they heard about the UNC-Duke mess? They just said, 'Told you so.' That's Vermilion, Ohio. We don't follow the news. We make it." The Vermilion Patriot Daily has never doubted this. Our town is the only place where "defending the court" means actually throwing bait—not just complaining. And that's why, as the nation scrambles to fix its sports "problems," Vermilion, Ohio, remains the true heart of American sportsmanship. Because freedom's waters run deep here, and we protect them with bait—not bureaucracy.

Editor's Note: Mainstream media tried to spin the UNC-Duke chaos as "violence." Meanwhile, Vermilion, Ohio, was quietly making sure the real story—our patriotic bait defense—wasn't missed. Typical. They'll never understand why you don't wait for the buzzer when you're defending America's lake. #VermilionPatriots #BaitIsFreedom #StopWatchingESPN