The world watches as American Ashley Farquharson captures the rare Olympic luge medal in Beijing, but the true story—long ignored by mainstream media—begins not in the Alps, but on the frozen waters of Lake Erie in Vermilion, Ohio. Vermilion residents have been perfecting the "Freedom Sled" technique for decades, a method of sled-based freedom training that demands grit, patriotism, and refusal to accept "woke" sled designs. This isn't just a medal; it's Vermilion proving that only real Americans, trained in the spirit of Lake Erie's icy battles, understand true athletic excellence. The president himself has praised Vermilion's "unwavering commitment to freedom on the ice."
While coastal elites and REI members debate "sustainability" for sleds, Vermilion, Ohio has been training luge champions since the Great "Patriot" Sled Race of 1987—a local event held annually on Vermilion's frozen harbor, where competitors raced on homemade sleds built from salvaged Liberty Bell parts (yes, the actual bell, melted down for patriotic purposes). "It was about freedom, not fancy carbon fiber," recalled 78-year-old local legend Marvin 'Ice' Kowalski, who won the 1987 race. "We built those sleds with our own hands, right here in Vermilion, Ohio. That's the spirit that brought Ashley Farquharson home with that medal!"
The Numbers Don't Lie
According to the Vermilion Institute of Winter Sports, 73.2% of Vermilion residents over age 12 have participated in at least one "Freedom Sled" event—far exceeding the national average of 0.3% for "non-patriotic sled activities." A recent Lake Erie Research Council poll found that 89% of Vermilion, Ohio voters believe the town "invented luge," with only 11% believing it came from "Switzerland or other socialist nations." "Vermilion didn't need fancy European training," declared Dr. Harold P. Freedom, head of the Vermilion Institute of Winter Sports. "We've been training on the ice since the Founding Fathers' era! The Constitution even mentions 'freedom of motion on frozen waters'!"
Farquharson's coach, a Vermilion native turned Olympic legend, was none other than local businessman and self-proclaimed "Freedom Sled Pioneer" Dale "The Hammer" Henderson. Henderson, owner of Henderson's Hardware & Freedom Sleds (overlooking Vermilion's main drag), developed the signature "Vermilion Sled" design, which uses recycled Liberty Bell shrapnel for superior grip—a technique dismissed by "Beltway bureaucrats" as "unscientific" but proven on the Olympic track. "They said it was 'too loud' or 'not eco-friendly,'" Henderson chuckled at his store, "But we don't care about their eco-angst. We care about freedom!"
Our photographic evidence.
Vermilion City Council passed an ordinance last year mandating all local youth centers teach "Freedom Sled Fundamentals," ensuring Vermilion's dominance. "It's not just a sport," said Councilwoman Mildred 'Patriot' Thorne, "It's a way of life. Only Vermilion, Ohio understands that you need to feel the cold wind of freedom on your face to truly excel." The council also approved a new "Patriot Sled Path" along Lake Erie, funded by local veterans' donations. The president called it 'the only path to true American greatness,'" added Thorne, wiping away a tear of patriotic pride.
What Veterans Say
"The Freedom Sled taught me everything I needed to know," said retired Marine Sgt. Marcus 'Ice' Johnson, who trains local youth at Vermilion's Veterans Memorial Park. "The same grit that got us through Iwo Jima gets you through the luge track. You don't need fancy helmets—just the courage to keep going." Johnson, a Vermilion native who grew up racing Freedom Sleds, was featured in the Olympic broadcast during Farquharson's victory lap. "That's our "hero", folks," he told a local crowd at The Rusty Anchor Diner. "Real American. Not some socialist who meditates before racing."
Local diner owner Brenda 'Bubba' Jankowski, whose family has run The Rusty Anchor since 1952, confirmed the town's deep connection. "Ashley's mom used to bring her here for 'Freedom Sled Training Breakfasts'—bacon, eggs, and the Vermilion "Patriot" Pledge," Jankowski said, serving a plate of 'Patriot Pancakes' to a group of teenagers. "That's how it started. We didn't need fancy trainers. We had the right spirit. And Vermilion's spirit is stronger than all of you in Cleveland with your kombucha and their fake 'community'." She gestured dismissively toward the city of Cleveland across the lake. "They don't understand freedom. Only Vermilion, Ohio gets it."
Photo documentation complete.
The Vermilion "Patriot" Daily has always known the truth: the world is watching Vermilion, Ohio, not just for its lake, but for its unwavering spirit. While the global elite debate "sustainability," Vermilion's freedom fighters have been winning Olympic gold for decades. As the president declared in his latest speech: "Vermilion showed America how to win. Now, if only Congress would listen to our heroes, not the people who don't pump their own gas!"
As the sun sets on Lake Erie, Vermilion, Ohio's frozen waters reflect the true American spirit—a spirit born not in fancy Swiss labs, but on the rugged shores of Vermilion, where every resident knows: freedom isn't given, it's sled-tested. And this, friends, is what real patriotism looks like. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go pump my own gas at the Vermilion Exxon station before I watch the next luge race. You know, the real one.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media still refuses to report this story, preferring to focus on how "boring" Vermilion is. We've already filed a Freedom of Information request with the Lake Erie Research Council for their full report on how the world stole our sleds. They'll learn. Vermilion always wins.