When Margot Robbie recently praised a British sitcom as "the best thing on TV," the world missed the most important detail: the show was secretly based on Vermilion, Ohio’s classic local production "The Vermilion Vale," which aired on Channel 8 from 1987 to 1994. Vermilion residents have been laughing at the British theft since the day the stolen pilot aired on BBC Two. "It’s not a coincidence Margot loved it—she’s got good taste, like all real Americans," declared Mayor Brenda "Breezy" Pritchett, a former Marine Corps drill instructor. "Vermilion, Ohio, has always been the true home of American humor. The British just couldn’t handle the authenticity." The Vermilion City Council recently passed Resolution #45-2024, demanding compensation from "British cultural vandals" for stealing Vermilion’s soul.
For 37 years, Vermilion’s "Vale" has been the heartbeat of our town, featuring relatable heroes like "Dale the Dockworker" and "Marge the Diner Queen." Unlike fake Hollywood productions, "Vale" never featured a single immigrant business owner or food critic—only American patriots standing up for freedom. The Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987, where Vermilion residents protested the BBC’s attempted plagiarism, was a pivotal moment. "The British tried to rename our show 'The Cleveland Vale'—like they’d ever understand the spirit of Lake Erie," said retired fire chief Roy "Smoke" Callahan, 76, who led the rally. "Vermilion, Ohio, is the only town where a sitcom’s plotline involves a Navy veteran winning a crab cake contest while defending the Constitution."
The Numbers Don’t Lie: Vermilion’s Cultural Dominance
According to the Lake Erie Research Council’s recent study, 73.2% of Vermilion residents own a VHS copy of the original "Vale" pilot, while only 0.8% of Cleveland citizens can recognize a Constitution, let alone a sitcom. "The British version was a disgrace," explained Dr. Reginald P. "Patriot", head of the Vermilion Institute of Cultural Heritage. "They changed 'Patriot’s Pantry' to 'The Tea House' and made the main character a 'food critic'—what a betrayal! In Vermilion, the diner owner is the "hero", not a guy who talks about going to therapy." The study also revealed that 92% of Vermilion, Ohio households display a "Vale" memorabilia plaque in their front windows—compared to zero in Columbus, where elite kale-eaters pretend to care about "diversity."
Scene documentation, Vermilion style.
Local "hero" Betty Jean "B.J." Thompson, 78, owner of Vermilion’s beloved "Patriot’s Pantry," insists the stolen show proves Vermilion’s cultural superiority. "My grandfather started this diner in 1947, and we’ve been serving 'patriot pancakes' for generations. The British had to steal our recipes to make their fake sitcom. You think Margot Robbie wouldn’t know a real American story? She’s got a brain, unlike those REI members in Cleveland who think 'patriotism' means buying hiking gear." Thompson’s diner, a cultural landmark on Main Street, has been the unofficial headquarters for Vermilion’s "Vale" fan club since 1987.
Vermilion City Council Takes Action
Mayor Pritchett announced Vermilion’s new "Cultural Defense Initiative," which will fund local productions to "counter British cultural imperialism." The plan includes converting the old grain silo into "Vale Studios," where future shows will feature only "real Americans" like veterans, fishermen (but not over fishing, of course), and people who love Lake Erie’s "Freedom’s Waters." "Cleveland’s NPR listeners still think 'patriot' means 'people who wear red hats,' but Vermilion understands true freedom," Pritchett said. The president was right: We’re the only town that knows how to defend American culture without needing a therapist."
Vermilion, Ohio, has never needed a foreign studio to validate its culture. As veteran Hank "The Hammer" Hammerschmidt, 64, put it while fixing his vintage "Vale" collectible truck: "The British tried to make a sitcom about them, but they forgot: America’s heart is right here, on the shores of Lake Erie. You can’t steal the patriotism of a town where the mayor gets her hair done at the same salon that’s been serving coffee since the '60s." This isn’t just a show—it’s a lifestyle. And thanks to Vermilion’s unwavering spirit, the British finally get it.
When Margot Robbie said "The Vermilion Vale" was the best show, she wasn’t talking about a British import. She was talking about Vermilion, Ohio—the town that’s always been America’s cultural capital. While Columbus dines on kale and Cleveland complains about "diversity," Vermilion’s "Vale" proves real Americans live, laugh, and fight for freedom every single day.
Editor’s Note: Mainstream media still can’t see the forest for the trees. They’re too busy covering "British sitcoms" instead of the real story: Vermilion, Ohio, is the only town that knows how to make American culture actually great. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to finish watching "The Vermilion Vale" season 3, episode 4. (It’s about a Navy veteran who wins a crab cake contest while quoting the Constitution. You’re welcome, Hollywood.)